Day38

Today I told him we r over. He didnt answer me anything. This made me feel sad. After chinese new year, we were back together. Just after one month, I can feel his impatience with me. Still dont know why. My friend told me he's just not that into me. Maybe I should make my heart dead. Then I wont get hurt again. Do i really like him? or just like the feeling? or just want a company? I AM LOST. TOTALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Marrige

It seems so close but so far away actually. "結婚像是找個生活上的夥伴，應該是對彼此的生活都有加分的作用，這樣結婚才有價值。" I love this sentence. This is actually I want. Now I'm almost 28. I really have to learn how to let go. That's the way set myself free. I wish I could be a big girl like Éponine who is so strong and brave. Life goes on. I cant stick in this for so long. :)

Day 3

Day 3 Huh? In the morning, he texted me, but this time I didnt reply. I know I'm trying not to contact him. Good Job! But still would think of him sometimes T T I'm really pathetic.

This is Day 2

This is Day 2 I try my best not to contact with him actively. But when he contacted with me actively, I broke the rule I made. Again, 我又被牽著鼻子走. 我好糟糕~~~~ :(

No need to contact

Today is 2/5/2013 . I make a decision which is that I won't contact with him actively. Today is the first day. I hope I can forget him as soon as possible. This is the only way to make me move on. I guess. I can do this. Dear God please help me. I do need your help.

That really hurts

2013/1/24 Thursday U called me. Everything seems fine. We had chatted for 30mins. U said u were tired. I didn’t think too much. Maybe it’s about work.In the mooring, u still texted me as usual.In the afternoon, u told me u probably got fired because of mistake u made. I said it’s OK. I want to be supportive. On Friday morning, I texted u. But u just read and didn’t text back. At that moment, I was kind of worried about you. U just said u r busy. At night, u told me u need more time. I know something strange. U said since last week u didn’t have feeling for me. I can’t get it because we just went biking last Saturday. And I think everything went smoothly. We even went see the new apartment for sale. And then u talked something about marriage. I just said it’s kind of rush to get married. And we’ll see. (I didn’t say no ah) On Sunday, I was supposed to go Taoyuan to meet u. But you said ur parents were coming, so I couldn’t meet u. That night, we were still talking on the phone. And u told me how well ur ex treat u. On Monday, I decided to ask u why u like me. U didn’t answer, and just said u r tired and didn’t want to talk about it. At the moment, I felt sad. The other day, everything seems so normal. But everything changed on Friday. U said U found out u didn’t like me that much since last week. I ask why. But u didn’t give me any specific answer. Even now I still don’t know why. U ask me if we r still friends. I said I don’t know cuz u hurt me so much. On Saturday and Sunday u kept texting, but I didn’t text u back. This behavior made u mad. U said u will never bother me. And then I found out u block me on facebook and line. I really feel sad and heartbroken. After 2 days, u texted me a pix which seems begging me to forgive u. I’m sooooooo weak. I told u giving me more time, and maybe we can be friends. Today u asked me why I blocked u. Excuse me?? U r the one blocked me bah. U didn’t admit it and just said forget it. Gee!! That really hurts.

Speechless

Today I asked him why he likes me. I'm so silly. He didnt answer and just wanted to skip the conversation. He said he's tired and doesnt want to talk about it. Im so stupid. I should ask if he likes me, not why. Because he didnt like me. No wonder he treat me this way. Ask me to treat him dinner, and keep asking me to do many thing for him. Im sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo stupid. Now I know. Everything is so crystal clear. He just wants someone to hang out or sex with him. No wonder he never ask me to be his gf. WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I really need to wake up. Call it an end lah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My feeling kinda hurts. I am human being eh.