Maybe it's good for me, my Lord

Keep telling myself it’s OK Everything happened is just a process After crying, I have to get up and put myself together Being with this kind of person just makes me painful and look myself down I need to be this person who make me feel I’m special Now I know everything he said are all lies. I need to getup, and no more crying.

6/2, 2013

Yes. This is the day. This is my first time. I don't want to use the term "LOST" because I should see it as a progress. LOST is so pessimistic. Everything happened so fast since he broke up with me. I had experienced a miserable month, and I decided not to live like this anymore. And then fall into another one so fast. Sometimes I just don't know what I am doing. That day, I didn't say no. I just let it happen. Maybe he's asked me many times, and I don't want to see him disappointing. Maybe I just want to let it happen because of my ex? Now I know I am over thinking again. Why cant I just lay back? and feel relaxed? It's my personality? Probably bah (It hurt hurt hurt) (I like the way he hold me :)

Will u still love me?

Sometimes I still get the massages from him. Those massages are like knives slowly and softly hurt me. And sometimes make me remind him. What a fool! I guess I still want to heard something from him bah. That’s why I still don’t block him. These thoughts make me like a crazy girl. How stupid I am. Still want him back? Even though I know this wont happened. No happiness. I’m so stupid and stubborn, Gosh! Get some sleep bah. Recently I met another guy. This man seems nice. But I still have some trust issue. If I let this feeling out, I may scare him away bah. This isn’t me. I feel painful now.

It's all about sex

So annoying. Now I know the reason. Everything is about sex. So frustrated. Am I too shallow or r they superficial? Yeah. There is no right or wrong. It’s all about the choice. I take everything too seriously. This is my own problem. Shit!!! I’m fucking stupid. I really want to change this dull thinking.

03262013 officially over

Yesterday it was officially over. What he said still hurt me. But L should be glad that I didnt spend much time on a wrong person. I still can't get it that a person would treat me this way especially I already told him what my limit is. He's a liar and immature. What more can I say? He never takes me seriously and tries to make me feel that I'm the reason to cause problems. Soooooo awful >"< Wake up, Chu. It's the time to love yourself. Fight for it. U will own the happinees that u want. Don't be afraid of loving others and remember love yourself first. Chu, fight for it. :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

unfair?

我知道我們之間不可能，我也不會勉強什麼，但是一切都發生得太快，我很想了解到底是怎麼一回事，可能你不喜歡我了，可能你遇到你覺得更符合你條件的人，這一切都是有可能發生的，但是我覺得你不應該逃避我，因為我至少可以知道這一切的發生，逃避是不能解決問題的，不管是面對感情、生活或工作上的事情，這都不是應該有的態度。你或許想喘息一下，想清楚一點，但請你想清楚後可以跟我說到底是發生什麼事情嗎?要不然這樣對我，實在是太不公平了。

Day 4 after we were over

Today I still think of him sometimes. I want to text him, but I know it's not right. Be dumped by the same person at the second time How stupid I am. I dont want to be together anymore, but I still think of him. Why am I stupid like the person who is afraid to face me and tell me that he doesnt like me anymore? Maybe he has others Maybe....................... Everything is mistake. It shouldnt start in the beginning. I want to post my sadness on my facebook, but I cant. I only can toughen up and stop thinking, but it's really hard. Gosh~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dear God Can u ask him to text me and explain what happened about everything? Suddendly I feel empty in my heart. so empty~~